Messenger » Issues

“In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. … Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness.”(1)

But, as a recent survey from Brigham Young University shows, the majority of Mormons reject this advice, with 78% of men and 71% of women not considering spiritual confirmation to be an important factor in deciding who to marry.(2)

Considering the fact that to attend B.Y.U. a person must be in full standing with the Church and maintain certain moral and religious standards, the number of Latter-day Saints in general who pray about who they will marry is probably much lower. But this issue asks “what does God expect of us in selecting our spouses?”

Over the years most of our issues have focused on topics related to history and authority. Very little has been written on how the Gospel relates to relationships, and nothing has been said about the part human love plays in God’s plans. With this issue it is hoped that balance will be redressed.

This issue is dedicated to the spouses we have and the ones we have yet to marry. May we always remain true to each other.

We float our hearts upon the water
and see them floundering in the surge
but if they hold fast and do not falter
into another’s heart they will merge

And by this journey we are strengthened
as along the way our weakness we meet
for no other route can there be taken
to make our love last and be complete

Footnotes -
1. Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, p. 3.
2. B.Y.U. Studies 46:3, “A Survey of Dating and Marriage”, 2007.

Bruce R. McConkie remarked:

“How do you choose a wife? I’ve heard a lot of young people from Brigham Young University and elsewhere say, “I’ve got to get a feeling of inspiration. I’ve got to get some revelation. I’ve got to fast and pray and get the Lord to manifest to me whom I should marry.” Well, maybe it will be a little shock to you, but never in my life did I ever ask the Lord whom I ought to marry. It never occurred to me to ask him. I went out and found the girl I wanted; she suited me; I evaluated and weighed the proposition, and it just seemed a hundred percent to me as though this ought to be.” (BYU Devotional Address, 1973)